by Jessamina Lanzilotta
The Postpartum period for a new mama is crucial..
Ideally her house is clean, her sheets and pj’s smell yummy, there is plenty of comforting foods and fresh fruits in the fridge…
Any good visitors that come over should bring her food, visit a short while, and clean something.
Folding laundry, or playing with her other kids is fine too..
Everyone that passes new-mama-goddess on the couch or bed should ask her if she needs anything.
If she says no, just go get her some water.
If she’s crabby or acts weird, just know:
- She’s really busy adjusting to her new role as mother (of 1, 2, 3, or 4 etc. children)
- She’s more concerned with figuring out how her baby feels constantly..(hungry, tired, cold, scared, comfortable, etc.)
- Her hormones are wacking out..
- She needs help and doesn’t want to ask you (or yell at you, or cry while she’s talking)
She’ll need a little time to touch her belly, alone…the new postpartum body is kind of shocking. Someone should offer to hold down the fort while she takes a shower.Her boobs are taking up alot of space. (in her mind, in her baby’s mind, in her husband’s mind, in the bed, in her bra)…maybe ask, “how are the girls?” Can you offer breastfeeding help? Get someone who can, if she needs this…
While feeding baby, she’ll feel a little more in control (in her new out-of-control world)by doing a few pelvic squeezes, even if they are weak. This will help speed up the healing process of her perineal chakra..which holds her chi…lifeforce.
The squeezing movement gives a sense of power back to her, that can ease her sense of any trauma that she may have endured..(This is true for all women, mothers or not, BTW) Maybe do some with her and giggle over “Kegel Faces”.
Deeper Kegels will come with time, as she can trust in the process of taking this area of her body back (from the birth process). Ask her if she needs a nap..or a shower..again.
You are such a good friend, Goddess…